Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Broad Enough To Bear It

Borne of teeth and bone and things hard enough to carry it and not subdue its seriousness in unnecessary folds of flesh. 

This task I undertake.

Ignoring its consistent knock at my door, it enters the crack the moment my eyes close and I give pause for peaceful slumber. It is there. Every night it is there. 

I know I must learn to know the changes will change me. I have aged enough to view the curriculum, but am hesitant to learn the lesson. 

I hold you within my heart. Always I will. The sadness will not lapse. The torn river will never dry, but only ebb steadily along below the surface. My small vial of tears I keep behind my Breastbone will crack forth painfully and sprinkle my cheeks.I will miss you. I will mourn you. You will always be the Flagship that bears the Parade of All things that bring me utter bleak dark sadness and longing and loss.  All these things I know. And I know... It will not end. 

So if I must carry this,.. and carry this I must,..

I must not fear letting go to move forward. There will be more. There is always more. As long as I don't get mired in my fear and stagnate. I cannot see what I do not open my eyes to.

My Back must be Broad Enough to Bear this.  

My Back is Broad Enough to Bear This.